My latest struggle: There hundreds of thousands of ways, methods, articles and research conducted to aid a person in mental weight loss. What do I mean by mental weight loss? Time for an example: I have lost over 50 lbs in the past 3 years. I have gone from a size 16 pant to a size 8 pant and my waist has shrunk from over 10 inches, however, when I go to the store to purchase clothes or shop online, I automatically go to a size large and usually have to be coaxed to try on a medium. In reality, I am a small or medium (depending on the cut). Why oh why do I gravitate to the size large? I am mentally still fat. When I look in the mirror I rarely see a svelte, athletically built, or esthetically appealing person. My mind still sees an overweight individual or a person that is a little on the heavy side that must hide her dirty little secret from the world. When it comes to the clothes I already own, it is difficult for me to accept that those clothes are not merely too big, but they are swallowing me up. A dear friend was courageous enough to tell me “If I can’t see you behind a shirt or pair of pants when you hold it up, then IT IS TOO BIG!!” Yes, she yelled. Now I use that as a gauge when I clean out my closet. What about the size 12 or size 10 clothes? I try to wear those sometimes. Again, thankfully I have friends that have no qualms about telling me that my pants are too large. One day I said, “I rolled the cuff, I’m going for the boyfriend jeans style” Nope, it didn’t work; I was mildly ridiculed for my failed attempt. I don’t think I am the only person that has this problem. I wonder how other people “get over themselves”. I think it goes deeper than a lack of confidence or a need for reassurance. hmmmmm I think it is time to get a new physical training uniform
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Isah
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January 2018
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